It’s 3am. I can hear the rain leaving condensation kisses on the window panes. Outside, the moon shines bright. Inside my chest, a supernova is ready to explode. I sit up quietly, afraid to disturb the peace that has settled around me during the night. My mouth opens slowly, words forming on my tongue like grains of sand. I turn to the only other life form awake in my room — my snake, Murphy. These hours are when he is most active, and he pauses his nightly explorations, peering at me through the glass. Only now, I feel like the one on display. Ready to be stared at, judged once these words leave my lips. But I have to say them, before they tumble back down my throat and leave bruises in my stomach. So, I take a deep breath, lock eyes with Murphy, and whisper the words that have been unspoken until now:

“I think I’m a boy.”

Stillness. Not even the wind makes a sound. In this moment, time is suspended. As cliché as it sounds, it really does feel like the earth is standing still. I’ve finally said it, the thing that has been rattling around in my skull like errant marbles. A little while later, I pick up my phone. I go to a group chat marked ‘Clone Club’ — a group of amazing friends I met through the Orphan Black fandom, so it’s no surprise that our friendship group is overflowing with LGBT+ identities. I know I’ll be safe here. I type out a short message. Something like:

'Guys. Idk if any of y’all are awake but I kinda have something I need to talk about.'

Luckily my sister was awake and replied to me. So, I continued:

'I was pondering earlier and was just imagining myself being called “he” – and seeing myself with a deeper voice and a beard and stuff. And idk, it all kinda made sense.

I’ve been thinking about it for a while tbh, I just didn’t say anything. But then tonight I was thinking about it and looking at myself in the mirror, and I had an “oh, wait” moment.

Like, I realised: I think I might be a guy.'

Thankfully, I was met with nothing but love and support — and mild annoyance from my sister, who couldn’t believe I’d just come out to her via a group chat. But then I had my first experience of being referred to as male, and that’s when it all really clicked. And while I knew the life that lay ahead of me would be far from easy, I also knew that I was about to embark on the most enlightening journey I could ever imagine.

And that was how I first came out as transgender to my corn snake — who, unsurprisingly, didn’t have a care in the world. And, to be honest, that was the most perfect reaction I could’ve got in that moment.