Dear Dad,I wish I’d told you before the depression rocked your brain. I wish I’d said so before the blindness stole your hope. I wish I’d declared it before the dementia pummeled your soul. But, I didn’t. I didn’t tell you then what I know now. I didn’t say it was heartless to turn on you, neglect you, forget you because you couldn’t meet my needs anymore . . .I’d never walked a mile in a blind man’s shoes, but I have now. I’d never clawed through a dark, depressive hole believing, It will always be this way. But I have now. I’d never felt my children turn on me when I failed, fell, feebled myself into weakness. But. I. Have. Now.Dad, I asked for forgiveness long ago, not realizing I needed it so. Not for that moment or for things I considered, but for other moments and things I now remember. I walked away from you in your time of need, never thinking of what you’d given me. When that cold phone lay in my hand, and Mom said, “Do you want to talk to your dad again?” I said, “No,” and didn’t think twice, about the man who’d forgiven my every vice.I wish I had.I wish I had told you what you meant to me and what a great man you were. I wish I hadn’t let it go quietly into the night. Because it’s not quiet now when my mind can’t sleep. I wish someone would have said, “What will it cost you, not to . . . What will it cost you not to . . . What will it cost you not to say what you need to say while you still have time?More than I can pay.It’s over now, and the words come out. I’m telling you Dad, you’re the hero I’ve always had. I love you. I tell stories like you did; I smile your smile, and I make jokes so people feel close. I have a host of stories to tell: about Dynamite Red, those you told so well, and about leaving it all on the dirt so it doesn’t get buried with the dirt.Dad, I’m still your son, and I know you’re better now. It took dying for me to see. It took blindness for me to see. It took pain, loss, and abandonment for me to see, that you loved me, and I loved you. And when I see you again, we’ll be friends, father and son—no longer blind and connected to the One.