Bio
January 19, 1985
“You know I was in prison, right?” Uncle Roy said.
“Uh-huh,” I said, listlessly pushing my spoon around in my bowl of cornflakes. I’d spilled a little milk on my overalls, but it just mixed in with the grass stains, dried blood, and Cheeto dust embedded in the denim. The two of us sat there for a bit. Uncle Roy didn’t tell me not to worry, that my grandfather would be okay.
Today, my mother was bringing him home from the hospital. Angiosarcoma. Stage 4. It only makes up one percent of all liver cancers, and my grandfather happened to be one of the unlucky ticket holders. The fact that Uncle Roy was even here meant my grandfather was on his way out.
Uncle Roy said Leavenworth turned out to be a gen-u-wine boon. “Because that’s where I learned the powers of levitation from a Chinese fellow.” With a snap of his fingers, a deck of cards fell out of his sleeve and into his palm. “There’s nothing else up there, I swear.” With a quick rifle shuffle, he fanned out the cards. “Pick one. Any one.” I pointed, and Uncle Roy said, "No, take it. But don’t show me.”
I grabbed a card and peeked. The ace of diamonds. I slipped it back in and Uncle Roy performed an overhand shuffle, squared the deck, and held it up with the back of the top card facing me.
“Okay, I’m gonna need your help. That all right?” Uncle Roy asked. I wiped my lips with half my forearm and nodded. “Now focus because we’re gonna defy the laws of nature, and I can’t do it alone. You gotta put your whole mind into it. Think of birds, sunrises, shooting stars…” He placed his forefinger on the top edge of the cards, tapped it twice, and closed his eyes. His face squinched and he began to hum and then shake like he was possessed or something. I thought he was having a seizure, but Uncle Roy lifted his finger. A card from the back of the deck began to rise—just a few centimeters—before his finger slammed it down. Uncle Roy groaned, shook his head, blew out three quick breaths then closed his eyes again. “Hmmm.” His forefinger lifted, and this time, the card rose all the way up—my ace of diamonds.
“How’d you…?” I trailed off as Uncle Roy flicked the card. It fluttered onto my lap. I picked it up, turned it around, and inspected. Just a regular playing card. No tape. No tiny hole for a tiny string. “How in the hell did you do that?” I asked in this raspy voice that made me sound like a kid who’d taken up Marlboros.
“Magicians never tell,” Uncle Roy said, then looked around as though someone might be eavesdropping. “But I suppose I could make an exception for, I don’t know, thirty bucks.”
I eyed him with suspicion, knowing both my father and mother had told me to never trust this man, but when Uncle Roy started to get up and walk away, I ran to my room and wedged my fingers into the belly of my piggy bank.
“What the shit is this?” Uncle Roy said, staring at the wallpaper. It was from the movie The Black Hole, one of my favorites. My mother had reluctantly helped me put it up last summer. Uncle Roy said, “They run out of nuclear mushroom clouds or fields of dead puppies?”
had never thought about it, but it was true. It was bleak. Every morning, I woke, put on my little socks, little shorts, and little shirt, and stared into this giant black hole, obliterating everything.
After Uncle Roy had filled his pockets with my coins and cash, he revealed the secrets of the Floating Aces, and I practiced the trick deep into the night; then, later, I walked into the back room where they’d set up my grandfather in one of those hospital beds. Tubes ran through his nose and another one was taped to his wrist. Clear bags dripped liquid into his veins.
My grandfather turned his head and smiled through the pain. “Hey, kid… You okay? ”He looked awful, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.
“Oh, I’m better than okay. I just learned the powers of levitation from a Chinese fellow.”
“Chinese… Really…” He laughed.
I pulled the deck from my pocket and fanned out the cards. “Pick one. Any one. But don’t show me.” Once my grandfather did, I told him to put it back in the deck. “Now, focus because we’re gonna defy the laws of nature, and I can’t do it alone.”
I mimicked everything my uncle had taught me. When my forefinger lifted, the card rose.
“Holy shit!” my grandfather said, then lowered his chin, realizing he’d just cursed in front of his little kid. “Your uncle been showing you this?”
I shrugged with the coyness of a little used car salesman. For a second I realized how angry my parents would be if they found out I’d given Uncle Roy money.
“Come on, how’d you do that?” my grandfather asked again.
“A magician can never tell,” I said, “but, I suppose I could…I don’t know…maybe for some of your pudding?” The container was half-eaten on his tray.
“Yeah, you’ve been hanging out with your uncle. Always an angle.” His eyes narrowed. He slid me the pudding. I reached out, but he pulled it back. “First, I want to see it again.”
My shoulders straightened, and I showed off the trick once more. My grandfather was even more amazed. I had never seen him so happy before, and I finally spilled its reveal. “Okay, remember when I put my pointer on top here?” I placed the side of his index finger on the deck. “This is what you saw because that’s all I wanted you to see. But if you were standing over there or over here, you’d see this:”
My pinky, no longer hidden, pressed against the ace, and as I raised my index finger, my pinky followed and slid the card up the deck. No levitation. No demonic forces. Just as Uncle Roy had said, “It’s all about the angles, kid. That’s all magic is. Lies built on lies.”
“Show me again,” my grandfather said, smiling so wide it was almost as though there was nothing wrong with him at all, and over the next few weeks, I thought he was getting better. This was my greatest illusion of all, that I could save him with my magic. But nothing could stop his cancer.



































































































