I was a shy child – you know, the one hiding behind Mum’s legs. Standing a little behind the others in the photo. The one who didn’t speak when friends came to play. And it didn’t end with childhood…

Playtime at a small village school in Somerset. The staffroom bustles with the coming and going of teachers gasping for coffee and gossip between lessons. Witty banter about the contestants in the latest edition of <em>‘Blind Date’</em>, flies back and forth across the room.

And then there’s me. Sitting by the door, doing my best to shrink into my chair, hoping no one will notice me.

<em>‘Please no one speak to me . . . Maybe I’ll just take my coffee back to the classroom.’</em>

<em>‘You look like a real idiot not joining in’, says the voice in my head. ‘Say something.’</em>

The school staffroom is my worst nightmare: half a dozen strong, confident personalities, nowhere to hide. It’s excruciating.

<em>‘What shall I say?’</em> I ask the voice.

My mind’s blank – apart from the tangled spaghetti of anxious thoughts and self-criticism that whirls round it like a tornado. The urge to run away is almost unstoppable. Away from the voice in my head. Away from the pressure to be ‘part of the gang’, the sense of being observed by every single person in the room.

Then – as if from the depths of my soul – another voice speaks inside my head…

<em>‘Perhaps you’re not shy, perhaps you’re just quiet.’</em>

And in that moment, the raging storm of frantic, wild thoughts inside my head transmutes into a sense of space and tranquillity. Where moments before the pressure of social conformity was almost unbearable, now it’s OK to simply watch, and listen to the conversation. I sat for a minute, amazed at this new me.

Then the strangest thing happens; without realising I’m about to, I turn to the teacher next to me and say, ‘Did I hear your daughter’s been poorly?’

‘It’s so kind of you to ask – we’re really worried about her…’

There we were. Having a conversation. No pressure. No voice telling me what a fool I look. No urge to run away. Just chatting.

<em>‘Not shy, just quiet.’ </em>

That one thought changed my life. It wasn’t the last time being shy got in my way, but that day was a whole new beginning.