A Wedding A Week
Experiences of a Wedding Officiant
By Anne Brugts, Content Manager, Story Terrace
Dutch wedding officiant Guusta has officiated over 1,200 marriages. That’s 1,200 wedding stories – from a bird of prey who flies up a tree with the wedding rings to rowdy rows in the wedding hall, she shares her best with Story Terrace.
‘I bet I’d do better!’ 
‘In 1997 I was a guest at pretty pitiful wedding ceremony. It was hilarious for the guests, but not so much for the newlyweds. That evening at the reception, after some glasses of wine, I made some brave remarks: “Let me do the job one time; I bet I would do it better!” Two weeks later a vacancy opened for wedding officiant in the town where I lived. Several of my friends sent me messages, daring me to apply. So I did an interview and got the job.’
Working as a town officiant Guusta noticed that there wasn’t really time to get to know the couple nor the financial means to add a little extra to the ceremony. So in 2006 she decided to register as an independent.
For the Smaller Witnesses
As an independent officiant, Guusta is now far more personally involved with the couple. ‘I sometimes meet them a year in advance and speak to their families, friends, the witnesses. Since you’re so close to the people involved, you can add a little extra to the ceremony. For example, last year there was a groom who had been in conflict with his dad for fifteen years. Together we talked through the possibilities of a reunion and sent him a letter in order to make that happen. In the end, the dad was there and took his part in reading the wedding document. It isn’t really an exciting document, but as it was such a special reunion, all of the wedding guests were in tears.’
In order to realize that personal touch, Guusta shakes up dull wedding traditions. She abandons traditional rituals and gives everyone a part in the ceremony. ‘For children participating in the wedding as bridesmaids or ushers, I came up with a special document they have to sign, to involve them more. Some kids get a little nervous and tell me that they don’t have a signature yet. I reassure them that drawing something like a smiling sun is an excellent choice as well.’
Theatrical Ring Bearer
Having officiated so many weddings, Guusta has a great repertoire of wedding stories. ‘There’s so many funny and unanticipated turns that such a day can take. There’s been incidents of fighting in the wedding hall or bottles of red wine on the bride’s dress, witnesses that don’t show and horses that eat the wedding bouquet. But most of all, it’s touching moments that stay with her.
One special moment occurred two years ago. ‘A couple decided that the bride’s little nephew had to bring the rings to the altar. But I was warned that the little man was quite shy and even his mother had her doubts whether he’d deliver. On the wedding day, I took him aside for a little chat, reassuring him. I had faith in him. Then, during the ceremony, he was sitting on the wooden bench with the rings on his lap, ready to act. At the key moment, he stood up, looked me in the eye, and ran to the door, away from the altar. A buzz went through the hall, until he stopped at the very beginning of the carpet. From there, he slowly and theatrically strode towards the the couple. To him, this was the most suitable way of bringing over the rings.’
Third Time’s a Charm 
Guusta herself hasn’t had a lifelong love affair with the institute of marriage. ‘My husband and I celebrate our first dating day; not our wedding day. Last month we celebrated forty years of dating and twenty-five years of marriage. It took a while for us to tie the knot. I wasn’t into marrying, in a dull wedding hall with a dreadful ceremony.
‘We tried it before, two times, mainly because my parents thought it inappropriate for us to live together without being married. The first time we got engaged, we broke it the same evening. The second time, we cancelled the wedding a few months before the wedding. It just wasn’t what we wanted at the time.’ The decisive factor, in the end, was the birth of their daughter.
Las Vegas in an Amsterdam Bridge House
Guusta has many ambitions still to fulfil. ‘I’ve recently started a collaboration with three other wedding officiants. After many years of experience and positive reviews it’s a good thing to get feedback and not to rest on my laurels.
What’s more, she’s involving her daughter (the one that that made her parents tie the knot) in the business. ‘There isn’t a thorough Dutch book on weddings yet with all the tips and tricks on the subject, so my daughter and I decided to take this on as a new project. It’s going to be a fun read with lots of useful information, for where to get the best jewellery to the different ways of bringing the rings to the altar.’ Spoiler alert: the latter involves dogs.
Something else that will get her attention this year is couples renewing their vows. ‘It’s an obvious trend in the Netherlands. I’m working on installing an Amsterdam bridge house as a Las Vegas-like wedding chapel where couples can once again express their love to one another.’
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This month we serve up stories in our monthly theme ‘In the Name of Love’. Also read our story about Shirley, the professional wedding planner. What’s your love story?
